Monday, July 26, 2010

tik tok tik tok

I'll be running off my feet and putting my shoulder to the wheel because the real countdown has just begun and this, is the last turn of the screw. Seriously, I feel like screaming my lungs out now. Too many possibilities running through my head and most of them seem not very happy-ending to me. I am aware that I'm thinking way too much and pessimism is no way can help me outta here. I don't want to be frightened with my own shadow, so lets keep our fingers crossed so that my last department will knock my socks off!

Lots and lots of breakdown, feeling disheartened or disgusted I'll be encountering along the way but for the next 2 months, I've promised to myself to not wearing my heart on my sleeves. My sands of time is running out, so I guess I should always keep myself on track. Nonsense, they can just kiss my behind.

And yes, I am expecting big from this department. I can't wait to finish this off and say, God, I'm so want to be an internist!

Department fourteen (the very last one!): Internal Medicine

Sunday, July 25, 2010

hair-cut

For people like me (who are not very much good-looking), you should be extra careful for experiments or changes that you do on yourself. This is because we are living in a cruel world and the game we are playing now is deadly knock-out. So, the result will always be either you'll turn out just O.K or ... absolutely filthy hideous! That's all. Anyway, there are numerous times I actually scored the latter and yes, I'm slightly proud of this.

People around me might have known me well for crazy phases of hair-do that I have for this 5 years. Longish, wavy, spikey, short, mo-hawk, semi-mo-hawk, straight, skin-head etc surely have made everyone cringe, but to my defense, they are only for fun's sake and I am not trying to impress anyone.

But for my new hair-cut that I've just had today, is exclusively for my upcoming department which is not very cool with long hair male doctor *sigh*

Saturday, July 24, 2010

colony

This is not easy for me. I ran out of words after she imparted me the news. Now, life ahead seems bleaker with each passing moment since yesterdays have taught us that the way we working wasn't working. Before people jump to a lot of conclusions, let me get this very straight. I have nothing personal with them. They are all good, in fact very good I must say. But too bad, I am not very cool about that. Very simple, huh? (and hell yes, very hoggish too!)

To think back, there were times I actually used to pray for those and I guess God has just answered me. He is doing His job, for which I am pretty sure He always has a better plan for us, if we only take the time and be patient. But if this is some kind of test God giving me, He will never put more on us who can't bear.

Wish me luck!

post-script: i hate nobody. period.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

'fun-key' lappy

how I wish you could stay a little bit longer...

My 'back-space' key is still functioning well but feels weird once you press it. I guess the age has started taking its toll. I have been using this laptop since my first year in Indonesia. We've been going through the ups and downs together and seen many things happened to him (yes, it's a male) as he silently knew lots of breakdown I've been through. When I first bought my iPod Touch a year ago, I thought we were going to stand aloof. But I was wrong, he is irreplaceable.

Now, the 'space-bar' key acts the same and even funnier because when I hit it, it will be embedded inside the board for a minute and then suddenly.. pop up by itself.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

a heartbeat away

I thought it was just another phone call. We talked and listened to each other jabbering on everything and anything as usual. But, this morning was surprisingly 'something' when Ma forgot to end the call from her phone. For which allowing me to eavesdrop Ma talking to Baba on my cousin's post cholecystitis treatment and from far, I could hear Kak Ti chuckling when my little niece muttering to her sister how terrible her breakfast was.

I pressed the 'end-call' button and started to cry.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Aedes-busters

There are things that you could not avoid no matter how much they are sticking in your throat. Even though you keep saying to yourself when it's done, it's done, it is still there, lingering around the corner. Hence I guess our forefathers couldn't be more right when they said, 'if it's meant to be, it's meant to be'. That is what happening to me when it comes to research/study. Here in my medical school, we ought to finish at least three studies on anything related to medicine. There are numerous subjects on earth that actually related to medical stuffs. It ranges from everything to everything and it would take me a day to list them all. Yet, it seems they have left me no options here - Aedes sp is the only perfect match to me and we have been together for so long.

My very first study was to see larvacidal effect of methanol extract of sour sop seeds on Aedes aegypti larvae. A year later in KKKM, we did a brief research to identify what are risk factors of Chikungunya fever which apparently the main vector of the disease is Aedes sp. Then came public health department and we randomly allocated ourselves to some place where Dengue fever is a solemn problem there. And again, we have to survey locals' awareness, attitude and behavior toward Dengue and the vector - Aedes sp. Can someone enlighten me what is it with me and this parasites?

Anyway, statistics, parasitology, and research are really utterly not my strong suit. No matter how cool they look, I still have doubt on myself to enroll in this field. hmmm...

Department thirteen: Original members combating Aedes sp.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Ole!

There goes my teams. For Argentina that has been brutally tumbled out by Germany in the quarter final and then in the final game this morning, it was de Oranje's turn to swallow the bitter ugly truth after Andreas Iniesta rocked Stekelenburg's goal. Of course that has put me very down in the mouth so bad but let's get over it and cut this losses even tho things will be slightly different after this. There will be no more matches to look forward, team to bitch about or dragging our feet in the middle of night to nearby cafe for the sake of your favourite team are playing. World cup is such a true bliss, I might add.

stay there until Euro 2012

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

it's just another stop in my life

Do you know how it feels to see your first niece enjoying her first day as an undergraduate student while you are still here and haven't finished your first degree yet? I feel OLD, very old indeed. Anyhow, all the best to you, young lady for all the venture ahead and please, never stop making us proud!

Ainur and her high-school friends.

Speaking of which, I am on my way to make you and our family proud too. It's getting closer and closer and seriously, time now is moving extremely fast for which sometime I wish I can freeze few seconds so that I can get myself more prepared. But, life is about series of unexpected events, so to hell with it and let's face it!

I've just wrapped up my ear, nose and throat department and now enrolling myself into public health for another two weeks. I've had a good time in ENT with doctors, residents and of course, my awesome fellow group-mates. We've gained a lot of new experiences there, from the simplest common cold or executing cotton bud out of your ear canal to the calamitous Wegener's syndrome that horribly destroyed your nose.

Department twelve: Us, trying to charade ear, nose and throat.

 
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