bring it on

seriously??

now, what's next??

idk why, but it seems that i tend to do many silly mistakes these days and the worst part is, it gets sillier every day. fml

why is it so difficult to be a safe doctor hah?

i've spent a night to digest this...

alhamdullilah, everything went quite well yesterday. most of the questions asked were those that i've actually spent some time reading about it. now it made things much difficult for me to survive for the next two months here in this department as they now set a different par to look at and judge me.

but trust me, it was a pure coincidence yesterday and i was a lucky bastard. if they were throwing me some other questions and tricked me with quirky ones, i must be a dead meat yesterday. seriously, i am that by-the-book guy.

as i walked out of the room, i could clearly listen from my ears,

"do come back to medical once you've finished your housemanship ''

"we need people like you"

now i feel like a new person.

i've always wanted to do this...

i rushed down to cardiac care unit (ccu) after receiving a call from my medical officer to attend a 51 year old gentleman who suddenly stopped breathing.

there were four or five nurses there, and one of them was busy doing the bagging and the other one pumping drugs down through the vein, and the rest were busy with some other things.

heart rate on screen progressively dropping, blood pressure and oxygen saturation were merely undetectable.

CPR then commenced but too bad, it was not working. pulse was still not felt. oxygen nil.

and obviously at this point of time, i was panicking. i need my dear medical officer stat.

nurses waiting for my order but apparently i was startled, until the nurse who did the bagging thing shouted at me, "doctor! quick! make up your bloody mind!"

isn't this the part where i should intubate him?

but if it's the time, how the hell could i do that? my experience is nil and doing without supervision is like digging my own grave. fml.

screw it and i've intubated him anyway. luckily, i didn't stab his trachea or esophagus and the tube was nicely inserted to where it supposed to be. yeay me!

...........

anyhow people, despite of inotropes, oxygen and non-stop chest compression, he still couldn't make it. may he rest in peace and, al-fatihah.

another friday

i love friday not because Katie Perry or Rebecca Black loves friday but, because of this,

it's a board-game day!!

beware

i was on my way to the hypermarket this evening and suddenly bumped to this,

Happy Eid

i have to work on raya eve but that's not much problem to me since admissions were only a few. in fact, i only have one admission - acute myocardial infarction, but things that really tore my heart away was when i have to pronounce one death and to notify another one.

it's damn difficult for me to do such a thing when you know raya is just not about enjoying good home-made food or showing off new bajus but it's also about gathering, reunion and cheering for all the good things that we have in our lives - with family and friends.

and letting goes of your loved one on raya day is not a quick and easy task to complete.

Innalillahiwainnailaihirojiun

Happy Raya to all my muslim readers, minal aidin wal-faizin.

raya

i know i am an optimist when i've already bought myself a pair of baju melayu with samping without having ideas when actually my holiday is.

fyi, i am entering medical posting on coming sunday. BAH!

shifting to the new routine

currently our routine starts from 8am to 5pm. if we are 'On-Call' then it will be a whole different story. your day starts from 8am and ends at 5pm on the next day which made up to 33 hours. so imagine if you are 'on-call' on every 2 days. tempting, huh?

so they introduce the new system, the so-called shift system, but ...

not many of us are really fond about this. to be frank, i used to be one of those who against this newly proposed system. but, during my first 2 months as an intern, i was also the one who was really envy UK doctors damn much for how non-stress routine they are indulging and that's all because of the effective system they have.

but people, if it happens, we will have our critical and on-call allowances cut off - that is what i strongly cannot bear. (heard that this is only a fluke)

and some said, it's impractical to implement here in view of limited numbers of interns we currently have and your shift turn-over would be insane. anyhow come to think of it, in few years ahead we might welcome massive production of fresh graduate doctors, approximately 6000 per year.

so i think i've made up my mind. to hell with it and i will accept this proposal! i am really looking forward how this will turn out. if it causes tussle then let's get back to our good old way. luckily we have those protesters, so we know possible pitfalls we might face in future. so, for the time-being, good luck to the new system and let's roll the dice.

woke up as early as 6 in the morning

what a bright sunny morning at Pandak beach...

she's mine y'all

peeps, meet my new baby. my awesome canon's g-12. anyhow, i guess slr is not my thing, i am just too noob for it.

weather situation these days

... is so unpredictable, including my superiors' weather lol

when i say i want to study hard,

... i've found myself browsing through on tons of useless websites.

yes peep, i am now an intern in paediatric department. therefore as an intern, we have to work hard and study harder. this is so not fun.

and fyi, my assessment is just around the corner, err.. i mean next week. pffffffTTTT!!